Barefoot In The Dark
by AutomneArcher
Summary: After Edward left, Bella is left to pick up the pieces of herself that were broken with his departure. She felt like a child alone and abandoned in the dark. She thought she was alone in her pain until one evening. . . Hey Guys! this is my first time writing a fanfic so please bear with me :) I do NOT own anything. Will be undergoing editing process indefinitely.
1. A silent cry

_Edward is gone._

_The days have no end, the nights seem long and deathless. I feel like a dark spot in an endless canvas of white. This pain in my chest, a dark reminder of the black hole he left behind. I'm staring out into the window, but I can't see anything. I gave him my heart, in return he left me in the dark._

Bella twisted and writhed under the sheets, her nightmare's had awoken her an hour earlier and now it was impossible to find some semblance of peace to ease her mind or heart. . .

The all-consuming emptiness was unbearable, she felt like she had lost something precious. She felt like a child abandoned at a carnival, running through the crowds aimlessly hoping to be found.

She kicked the sheets off in agitation and sat in stupor at the side of the bed, her hands on her head, she was trying to numb out the thoughts in her head to no avail. The thoughts had a life of their own, the thoughts of _him._

She walked to the window and stood there like she did on so many nights for several months now, staring out into the dark night. She felt angry on this particular night, angry and suffocated. She opened the window to let the cool night air in. On an impulse she started to climb the window and stood on the ledge. For someone who has been depressed, she was quite strong as she took a leap and almost by an inch missed the tree branch, she cursed herself for being so impulsive as her situation grew worse, she was hanging on to the tree branch in nothing but her cotton shorts and tank top. She let out a sigh as she slowly wrapped her thin legs around the old and gnarled branch and started to climb higher. Several inches later she reached the roof top. She climbed up and sat at the ledge of the roof and stared out into the sleepy town of Forks, it was still dark, the night air was crisp and fresh. It was so quiet, and the silence made everything worse, memories of Edward kept on refreshing itself in her mind unbidden. She bit her lip in agitation and closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. There was thunder in the distance followed by large droplets of furious rain, it was as if the sky was crying for her. She sat there barely clothed and soaking wet, she didn't mind the rain, it felt good on her skin as she laid down on the dirty roof and watched as the rain came down, it was as if the sky was falling. Several moments later the rain had stopped and she was still laying there soaking wet, barely clothed and covered in dirt and leaves. She didn't want to move, she just wanted to lay there and somehow dissolve with the rain, when a gentle voice broke through her silence,

"Bella."

At first she thought the voice was just an imagination, but it was so resoundingly clear, but that_ voice_she knew it wasn't Edward's, her breath caught in her throat. She sat up too quickly that the force made her slip off the edge of the roof, but in an instant she could feel a cold hand grab her, and planted her firmly back on the roof with one strong grasp. She closed her eyes afraid that she was loosing her mind, afraid that this was the nightmare starting all over again, but then that same soft voice spoke again,

"I'ts okay Bella, you can open your eyes."

She stubbornly kept them shut, but a familiar soft chuckle espcaped the lips of whoever was standing with her on the roof, she opened her eyes and saw Carlisle Cullen standing in front of her. _  
_


	2. A helping hand

It was past 11 when Cheif Swan came into his daughter's room, gently nudging her awake.

"Bells, will you be alright by yourself? I gotta go to the station" Charlie gently said as he gave Bella one more gentle nudge.

He could hear her muffled reply with her face behind the piles of pillows and blankets on her face,

"Alright, I'll be home tonight. Stay out of trouble"

She heard the door click as Charlie stepped out of her room.

_I felt horrible today, I felt like a storm just washed over me. I clawed my way out of the fortress that was my blankets and pillows and glanced at the clock. 11:30, and it's a sunday.  
At least I don't have to face school today. I don't think I can stand one more day of stares filled with pity, and all of them simultaneously asking if I'm alright, I don't need a daily reminder._

She wasn't hungry, in fact, she had lost her apetite completely, she was loosing weight rapidly. But today the slightest whisper of hunger came over her, which surprised her, because these days, food just tasted like cardboard. She grabbed an apple from the fridge and went back up to her room. She ate slowly and savoured the taste. Today felt differet, nothing that can be noticed but just _different._ She headed for the bathroom and stopped in front of her mirror. _Do I really look that pale? _She stared at the stranger in the mirror. Her skin was almost translucent, and there were circles around her eyes. Her eyes had lost their sparkle. Had she really changed that much in the last few months? But what shocked her the most was the clothes she was wearing to sleep, which consisted of her old white sleeved shirt and baggy pajamas. _I didn't wear this to sleep last night._ A shiver went through her, it was as though she had forgotten something important. She took off her clothes and stepped into the shower, still she felt unsettled. _Something happened last night. _She sat down on her bathtub and placed the shower on full force, she curled her knees up to her chin, she was trying hard to remember what had happened. She can't be sure wether it was real or if it was another nightmare. Her eyes widened as she remembered. _The last thing I remembered was sitting on the roof and then I had almost fallen but then he was there, he had to be, I heared his voice. I saw him. No. That was a dream. But I saw his eyes, could that be a dream as well?_

She dried herself and started to dress. Her favorite jeans were now loose, and she could feel her hip bone pptruding, she felt disgusted and decided to wear a large jacket over her old baggy arizona shirt.

She paced back and forth in her room, her old trainers making the floorboards squeak in the process. She was debating wether or not to go visit his house, she had not been there since he said goodbye. But then what would she do there? _It's probably locked up and empty, I could just stand in the porch and look around. _She scoffed at the thought, she congratulated herself on having reached a new level of stupidity. She did remember it was for sale, she shuddered at the thought of someone was there what could she say to excuse herself? _Oh excuse me sir I just really wanted to see my ex-boyfriend's house so I can keep my sanity together, oh did I mention he's a vampire? _She scoffed at the idea. But just sitting here, she felt more alone than she ever did in her whole life. This sadness is just eating away at her, she needed something to wake her up, to help her out of this dark hole that she is stuck in. She stopped her pacing and sat on the bed. _I'm not going there, I can't, it will just tear me apart. I'm not gonna go there._

She can't beleive it. She just can't beleive how this is happening. She maneuvered her way on the familiar road that led to his house. _This is stupid, stupid, stupid. I can't beleive I'm doing this. It's like I have no control over my own mind and body anymore, one moment I say no the next I'm actually doing it, sometimes I ask myself if I really am awake anymore._

It felt like the longest drive of her life. All the memories colliding, as the memories washed over her once again like a violent storm with raging seas and dark skies. She gripped the wheel as she stepped on the accelerator.

She stood there approximately 1 foot away from the house. The room started to spin, she could see his face, the words he said, she felt sick. She thought coming here would somehow give her some sort of closure, but no it's like sucking away the life out of her. She pressed a hand to her head to stop it from throbbing when a memory fro last night floated into her concious mind.

She could see Carlisle standing there on the rooftop with her, saving her from that fall, asking her to open her eyes.

_He was there, I just couldn't remember what happened afterwards, what did I do? what happened to me?_

She felt her knees gave way but before they could hit the ground, she felt cold but gentle hands on her shoulder gently holding and keeping her from falling, she turned to face him.

"Carlisle. . " Was all she could force out, she didn't even want to blink, afraid that this might be an illusion. But Carlisle's face was there, he really was standing, she could feel his hands on her shoulder.

He gave her a reassuring smile as he spoke, "Don't worry Bella, I'm real, I'm here" But his smile turned into a frown on his beautiful face as he saw the physical state that Bella is in.

"Let's get you inside . "

They made their way into the house. He gently lead her to the kitchen and with an easy lift sat her on the kitchen counter.

Bella was looking at him warily as he placed a kettle on the stove.

"Is every-" Her mind was screaming at her to ask the question she had been trying to hold back as she swallowed hesitantly, before she continued and decided to change her question, "Where's Alice?"

Carlisle turned to look at her with that knowing smile of his, "I'm the only one here" Then his expression turned serious "I wanted to make sure you were alright Bella, I'm deeply sorry for what he had done, I know how badly he's hurt you, I didn't want him to leave things the way they did, I'm so sorry."

She looked at him, she had been fighting the urge to flung her arms around him since last night, but she didn't want to seem _weak _and _pathetic_. He walked closer to her, his golden eyes studying her, missing nothing. He placed a gentle hand on her forehead. She didn't have the heart to meet his gaze afraid that her eyes would betray the emotion that was inside of her.

"Alice had a vision of you, you were on top of a roof. She had the assumption that you were about to jump" He looked at her but Bella was avoiding his eyes,

__"Bella. . . Bella look at me" He lifted her chin lightly, she shook her head stubbornly.

"Bella please. ." Carlisle pleaded.

Finally she did, her eyes brimming with unshed tears, there was such sadness in her eyes that could not be measured by words. Carlisle was overwhelmed with a frisson of guilt,

"Bella. . .I want to help you. . ." He spoke to her in a voice more gentler than he had before that it broke all her resolve and threw her arms around his neck and held him as if for dear life as a torrent of tears began. She knew how uncomfortable this situation might be for him but he's the closest thing she has to peace and comfort, even as she was thinking how much discomfort she was giving Carlisle, she felt him slowly put his arms around her and held her close. . . .


	3. An end to day as night begins

Their embrace was interrupted by the sound of the kettle's whistle. Bella watched as Carlisle began preparing a cup of tea. She was wiping her face furiously. She felt so embarressed, somehow it felt worse than her depression. Maybe not _worse_but it came close to it.

She looked around for the first time and realized the house seemed so bare and cavernous, there were no more furnitures or chairs, except for the couch in the living room they had left behind which she caught a quick glimpse of. Somehow the house being this empty made her relapse back into her dark hole. The house was just as empty as she was, her thoughts were interrupted when she felt something warm being placed in between her translucent hands, he stood next to her as he spoke,

" It's chamomile, it can help with your stress and sleep. . " He said with a soft smile,

"I'm not so sure about that. . ." She said quietly,

"Bella I-" She cut him off "I'm sorry about what happened earlier I-" He placed his hands on hers that were warm from holding the large mug, "It's alright. ." Finally she gave a small nod,

"Carlisle, you were on the roof with me last night, I rememered you helping me up and then after that nothing. . .What happened?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

"You passed out, your body is exhausted and overstressed Bella. ." He replied carefully,

"Wait how do you know about my-"

"Charlie has been sending me e-mails, he's extremely worried about you Bella, you don't eat and if you do sleep you wake up strangled by your screams" Carlisle shook his head, "I never should have allowed Edward to leave things the way he did, I should have tried harder." He said as tension washed over his face,

"Don't Carlisle. . .It's okay. . ." She said as she took a sip of the tea.

A few minutes of calm silence passed as she spoke again,

"Wait. .How did I get back in my room last night?"

"Vampire remember?" Carlisle replied as he gave her a smile, she gave a small chuckle. Perhaps the first she's had in months, he watched as light slowly found their way into her eyes once more.

"And my clothes?"

"Bella I'm 300 years old, and a doctor, I think I could manage to change you out of your wet clothes without looking, I wasn't gonna take a chance on you getting pneumonia. "

"Carlilse!" Bella screamed, she was blushing furiously.

"I didn't look, I promise." Carlisle replied earnestly, she was still giving him a look.

"I give you my word as a gentleman." He said as his eyes met hers. She nodded in defeat,

"Alright, fine. What about Charlie? did you wake him up?"

"No, I didn't want to wake him up in the middle of night, with me holding his semi-concious daughter who was soaking wet might I add, he would want an explanation." He replied shaking his head in disapproval,

She felt chastised, she didn't regret that she went up to the roof, she was more concerned that he might be angry with her, she replied in a small voice "Sorry. ." She glanced up slowly, afraid that he's upset but when she looked at him there was only a gentle glint of tease in his eyes.

_I watched as Carlisle excused himself from my company momentarily, I watched him exit into the other room. I found a smile form on my lips, I'm still embaressed about what happened earlier but I can't say I regret it. I need closure, Edward never gave me that, he never even gave me a chance to say my goodbyes. Now that I think about it, Carlisle probably won't stay here for long. I don't think I could bear it if he left too. Maybe I should ask how long he's. . .  
No I don't wanna know when he's leaving, I just don't wanna know the answer to that. . .  
It's better that way, so I can just convince myself that him visiting me was all just a dream.  
So I can just tell myself that everything was a dream, even Edward. Maybe it can dull out the sharp pain of my reality._

I watched Carlisle as he entered the room, his face seemed stressed, but his expression changed as he stood next to me once more.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing Bella, don't worry." He replied as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Carlisle, I've seen that look before, tell me." Bella persisted.

"Alright, but I'll tell you later, okay?"

She couldn't understand the look in his eyes, but she didn't want him distressed so she gave a simple nod.

He took her cup and took it to the sink.

_I found myself staring at him as he washed my cup, maybe because I had missed him, I miss all of them in fact, but the way I looked at him was somehow different, I don't know wether the food deprivation was going to my mind. I watched as the gloomy light outside reflected itself into the kitchen window and onto his beautiful face, I caught sight of a vague glimmer somewhere along the side of his cheek but I quickly averted my gaze, before he could see me looking at him like some deranged animal._

_I bit my lip. I didn't wanna go back to Charlie's, for some crazy reason, I wanna stay here tonight. Should I ask him if I could stay for the night? I think I'm loosing it, completely loosing it. But I don't wanna be in my room alone, with my own thoughts, staring at the ceiling, waking up screaming, I don't wanna be alone. It's just for one night. This is crazy and stupid. I'm asking my ex-boyfriend's dad if I could sleep over their house. I've definitley reached a whole new level of idiocy._

"Bella? are you alright?" Carlisle asked, a look of concern on his face, shaking her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah. . .um. . ." The words in her mind couldn't seem to come out of her mouth, "Yes?" Carlisle replied patiently, _This is it, I'm gonna ask him, he's gonna think I'm clinically insane but pleae don't, please dont._

"Can I stay here tonight? Just for tonight." The words finally came, but she didn't look at him, she didn't want to know the expression on his face, she closed her eyes waiting for his response.

"Of course Bella, your'e always welcome here, but I'm afraid the only thing you can sleep on is the couch."

If he was surprised by her request, his serene features gave no trace of it.

She gave out a silent sigh of relief, "Yeah, one thing by the way, why did you guys leave the couch?"

"Well for some reason Alice insisted on keeping it here, she said it was for emergencies." He replied with a soft chuckle.

_Typical Alice._

_I quickly drove home. The chevy was killing me today, it kept on stalling halfway there. But it didn't matter, I felt happy, I had almost forgotten what that felt like, I'm happy that I won't be alone anymore, at least for tonight. The thought of Carlisle being there made me feel safe and comforted. I left Charlie a note, I told him that I was going to sleep over at a friend's house, I didn't want him to get worried about me. He's had too much of that with me screaming in the early hours of dawn. I'd call him the next day anyway._

Bella was loading her backpack into the chevy when she heared someone calling her,

"Bella, where are you going?" Jacob asked as he walked towards her,

"Um. . .just out for a bit. . ." She nervously tucked a strand of stray hair behind her ear.

Jacob looked at her, scrutinizing her.

"I know, Carlisle's back Bella, why are you going back there?" There was a chord of anger in his voice.

"Jake. . please I need this" Bella pleaded.

"What do you need from them! theyr'e all cold and heartless, worse of all Edward just left you there remember? what can you possibly get from that?" Jacob grabbed her by the arm, stopping her from entering the car.

"Stop it Jacob. ." Bella was gritting her teeth.

"No. You are not going back to them Bella, theyr'e no good for you. Please." Jacob begged,

"Let me go Jake. ."

"No."

He pulled Bella towards him and kissed her. She pulled back and slapped him hard across the face.

"Just let me go Jacob. . ."

She shook free of his grasp and got into her car. Jacob watched her helplessly as she drove off into the distance.


	4. Night terrors

Anger coursed through her veins. How could he do _that_to her again. Of all people, he should understand what she's going through. He was her best friend. Her confidant. But he's making her push him away, he's not understanding her point of view, or at least try to.

She tried hitting the steering wheel with her fist, which of course was _another_bad idea. It definitley will leave a bruise in the morning.

She thought about Jacob. Both the good and the bad times they had. And how he always found a way to make her smile, she'll always be greatful to him but. . .

_He just can't understand._

_He will always be an important part of my life, and I'll always love him. But I'm not in love with him. There were those moments that I thought I was, but there were days that I just hated him. I love the wildness that he posessed deep within, I love the way he made me feel like there was no one else but the two of us in this world. But most of all I love the way he made me laugh when the world seemed to be against me. Those moments of darkness when I was struggling, he made it easier by being with me, I'll always have a special place for him in my heart. . . ._

_But I just don't love him that way. . ._

She parked her old chevy on the side of the road and just stopped for a moment. She needed to regain her composure. She didn't want Carlisle to worry again. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

A couple of feet away she could hear some rustling in the trees, she took a quick look but there was nothing there. She was reminded of how Victoria, the thought sent a shiver down her spine. _It's better if I get to Carlisle's faster. _She started her old truck again and was fast on her way to the Cullen's home.

He was preparing her dinner. He had been talking on his cell for a while.

"She's on her way here." He spoke as he stirred the sauce.

"What? That can't be. . ." He was gripping his phone tighter,

"Alright. .You know what to do. ." A soft sigh escaped his lips, his eyebrows furrowed in tension, as he listened to the speaker on the other line.

"Okay, goodbye, Alice." He placed his cellphone back in his pocket as he heared her car in the highway.

The moment the house was in view all her fears left her. All the lights were on and she carefully parked her ancient truck in the driveway.

They day seemed to have come to an end as dark clouds engulfed Forks in a dark embrace.

She entered the house and a delicious scent greeted her nose. She walked to the kitchen, she didn't enter right away instead she just sort of stood there staring at him. He was skillfully cooking a meal for her, she couldn't tell exactly what he was cooking, all she knew was that it smelled darn good. She took in a breath. She could smell fresh herbs laced with subtle spices, carefully stirred, and on another pan she could see he was preparing a sauce. He had rolled up his sleeves revealing his strong yet perfectly sculpted arms as they carefully maneuvered the kitchen stove,

"Good evening, Isabella." He spoke as he smiled without even looking up.

"I-I didn't mean to st-" She stammered as she accidentally dropped her bag on her foot, she swallowed the pain, "Yeah, I'm gonna go put this on the couch" She quickly runs to the living room.

She could still hear his soft laughter as she placed her old backpack on top of the couch. She shook her head as she let out a chuckle.

She went back to the kitchen as Carlisle had begun preparing her plate.

"I'm sorry we don't have chairs Bella." He spoke as he helped her up on the kitchen counter.

"It's okay."

"I hope you like it, it's prima vera, vegetarian of course." He replied with that gentle smile of his.

She looked down on her plate, the aroma was incredible, she realized she hadn't had food like this in a while. As she took a bite, she could just feel the flavors erupt in a delicious frenzy. It was sending her trigeminal nerve on haywire, it was _so good_. As she was finishing her amazing dinner she looked at Carlisle who was standing next to the sink, his arms neatly folded into his torso as he watched her eating, an amused look on his face,

"That was really good." She finally said as she took one more bite, finishing her meal.

"Thank you, Bella." He replied as he took her plate to the sink.

"I don't mean to pry but, what happened to your hand?" He asked as he washed the plate.

Her eyes widened. She had completely forgotten about that, she shoved her hand in her pocket and swallowed hard.

"It's nothing. . ." She replied gingerly.

"Is it Jacob again?" He turned to look at her, there was that worried expression in his eyes, but she gave no reply. He was about to stop what he was doing to check on her hand but she stopped him.

"It- It's fine Carlisle. . ." She replied finally, looking down, not meeting his eyes.

"Alright, but I will get some ice for that."

"Okay." She replied quietly. She felt guilty about what happened with Jacob,

_Maybe I should tell Carlisle what happened, and then I can feel better about it. No. I don't wanna remember what happened. I don't wanna remember anything. Just for tonight, just for once I wanna forget everything else. . ._

"Bella?" She looked up and realized Carlisle standing extremely close to her, his face barely inches from hers. His eyes, _those eyes._ His eyes like golden fire. It made her feel bare and naked, she feared that her eyes might be betraying her, it was as if he was staring into her soul.

She wasn't exactly sure what was happening, she swallowed and replied in a small voice,

"Yes?"

"Your sitting on my coat." He replied as mirth lighted his face.

"Oh. . .Sorry" She replied as she shook her head, and handed him his jacket.

"I promise I won't be long, there's water running upstairs if you ever want to take a bath."

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, and before she could even blink, he was gone.

_Upstairs. . ._

She hadn't even thought about Edward's room in a while. She realized she had been avoiding looking up the stairs subconciously. She grabbed her pjs from her backpack and started up the stairs, slowly. She entered the hallway, and each step she took seemed painful. She knew exactly where _his room_was, but she just couldn't find her strength to even just stand outside of it. Instead she went to Alice's room. She flicked on the switch and entered.

Alice's once lavishly decorated room now lay empty. It seemed like there was no trace of her, and that's what hurted her the most. She entered Alice's extravagant bathroom that was done in all shades of white and easily could be the size of 3 closets. She stripped and started into the shower. She let the cold jets of water hit her frail body as she sat down and started to cry, a feeling that was all _too_familiar to her, she let out a scream as the feeling of loss washed over her once more, mercilessly tearing her apart.

_I sometimes wonder if I could ever escape this pain. I know he's gone, but it feels like there's no escaping his memory. Sitting here in his house, it's like a constant reminder that he is real, everything that happened is real, his memories are drowning me. Maybe it's better for me to loose my sanity, maybe I could finally forget, maybe I could just. ._

Let go.

Carlisle found her sitting upside down on the large black couch in a large shirt and cotton shorts, her thin legs dangling over, her face was covered by the large trigonometry book that she was reading. Her hair was spilling out onto the seat in a complete disarray. She pushed back the large curls from her face and bit her lip as she tried concentrating. She could hear him laughing as he entered the room,

"Homework?" He asked as he took her right hand and placed an ice packet on top of it,

"Yeahh. . .It's really fun. ." She replied in a sour note, She watched as he made himself comfortable next to her with a book in his hand.

"Carlisle?"

"Hmm?" He replied, as he neatly turned the page of the book he was reading.

"Am I really the only reason you came back to Forks?" She asked, as she looked up at him. He looked at her earnestly with his golden eyes, he rested his head lightly on her knee and begun to speak,

"Bella could you ever see me as an old man?"

He had carefully avoided her earlier question.

"As in how old?" Her chocolate eyes studying him.

"It dosn't matter how old, but try to picture me with gray hair, wrinkles and a cane."

She could see he was serious. She closed her eyes and tried to visualize. A few minutes passed, but it seemed _impossible_to see him that way.

She opened her eyes and saw that he was waiting for an answer.

But instead, on an impulse she raised her left hand and started to gently trace the outlines of his beautiful face. His prominent cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, the shape of his eyes, the way his lip curved delicately at the bottom.

He had closed his eyes, the warmth that radiated from her fingertips and onto his skin made him feel warmer than he had ever been in centuries.

She was looking at him thinking hard,

"I don't think so." Was her reply. "Your'e perpetually young, even in my mind."

He let out a chuckle, as he looked at her.

"Bella. . . I need to talk to you about something." His tone had gotten serious.

"What is it?" She felt a sense of trepidation at his next words,

"Victoria is back. . . But she's not in Forks. . yet, but in a couple of days she will be." He could feel a frission of tension as he said it.

"Wh- What?"

She couldn't believe it.

"Carlisle-"

"That was one of the reasons why I had to come back. To make sure you were safe and protected."

"Who-" Before she could even ask her question he replied "Alice."

She felt her stomach drop, she slid off the couch and started to pace.

_This can't be happening. I feel like a ton of bricks just dropped onto my head. I feel sick._

"Bella, sit down." Carlisle said as he gently lead her back to the couch. Her eyes looked out everywhere but his,

"Bella. . Bella listen to me, as long as I'm here, I will not let anything happen to you, do you understand?"  
His voice was strong and firm.

She nodded numbly.

She dropped back onto the couch, she felt dizzy.

Carlisle watched her face,

"You should get some rest, Bella." He said gently, he had started to get up but she grabbed the sleeve of his shirt,

"C- Could you stay with me till I fall asleep?" She know how stupid she sounded but fear was creeping into her mind, filling it with horrible images.

He didn't hesitate as he sat back down with her. He had resumed back to his book, but she was still staring at him with that look on her face,

"I'll still be here when you wake up. I promise." He said with a soft smile.

She nodded as she let out a yawn. She felt extremely tired. She closed her eyes and subtly placed one foot near his leg just to make sure he was still there. Then soon darkness took over.

Some time during the early hours of dawn, she had managed to change her sleeping position and ended up in his arms.

He could feel her warm breath on his chest as she slept. He placed a gentle arm around her as he continued to read. But something wasn't right, everything was still, _too _still. He closed his eyes and listened carefully. There was nothing. But a few minutes later he could feel Bella's heart rate accelerate. He put down his book and looked at her face, her brows were furrowed, her face seemed to be in pain. _It's the nightmares, _he thought to himself. He started to shake her gently to wake her up.

She was in the woods alone, it was dead quiet. She had forgotten what she was doing there, it was dark, she could barely see anything. She walked on for several minutes, the forest ground crunching beneath her feet. She had the feeling she wasn't alone, there was rustling in the trees. She heard movement at the back but as she took a glance there was no one there. Panic hit her, she saw something on the trees. What made it worse was a storm had broken out. She started running, her mind was telling her she should not be there, she was afraid of the reason, afraid to remember what was lurking behind the darkness. As she ran she could hear something following her from behind, her heart was pounding loudly, she was afraid that whatever was following her would be able to hear it.

She was right.

Something was slowing her down. Her feet were sinking into the muddy ground. She tried to escape but her feet were sinking deeper and deeper into the mud. Lightning flashed as she tried with all her might to escape the blind terror that was overtaking her, she fell to the ground, the mud was sticky and she was struggling to get up. But before another lightning flashed someone was clutching her neck and raising her from the ground with a single pull.

_"No one's is here to save you Bella." _

She knew that voice, but before she could place a name to it she found herself in the clearing.

Edward was standing there, saying goodbye.

_"I don't want to hurt you by leaving, Bella." _He said.

She looked at him confused, it's Edward but his voice was Carlisle's.

She started crying, _"Then don't Carlisle, please don't leave me." _

Edward looked at her puzzled, and replied in Carlisle's voice _"But Bella, I'm not Carlisle."_

"Bella? Bella, please wake up." Carlisle's voice sounded strained and worried.

She opened her eyes. She touched her face which was wet with tears, she found herself shaking. Carlisle was holding her close to him,

"I won't leave you, I promise."

She clung to him tighter and closed her eyes, as she let out a shaky breath.

_If only I could save her from this darkness._

He listened to her heartbeat. It was still beating wildly. He sat there in thought for a moment then stretched out a hand to his book and opened it to the chapter he was reading.

He gently stroked her hair in soothing motions as he read in a gentle whisper that only the two of them can hear,

_"Through oceans I cross and below valleys and streams, I search the the missing half of my heart. Why is there a restlesness astir in my soul? Have I been lost or have I been found? the world is a curious place for a stranger amidst curious trees and looking valleys. Barefooted I walk in the world as I feel the ground beneath my feet, a friendly reminder that I exist. Flower petals in the air, I watch them float in the air like some flightless bird in a sky without clouds."_

She listened to the sound of his voice, clinging to it. She let it wash over her as she slowly drifted to slumber once more. . .


	5. An unexpected visit

_The day had started early._

_Carlisle had to drive me to school today. The chevy absolutely refused to start. Not that I minded him driving me to school, seeing him one more time before school was about to start helped me find courage to face the day as I felt like a piece of meat that was going to be thrown to a den filled with lions._

_I felt him squeeze my hand gently as I said my goodbyes. I watched his black mercedes drive off into the distance. _

_The school bell rang. It felt like a death sentence. As I made my way through the parking lot, I could feel the stab of stares as I walked into the school._

_This is going to be a long day._

She fought her way through first period. The stares and whispers commenced. Angela and Jessica were of course there, but they simply stared with that excited expression of _"What's going on." _neatly stamped on their faces.

The rest of the classes became a surreal blur.

Before biology class started, she had learned to be indifferent to the curious gazes of her other classmates by simply staring at the floor, _neurotic_as it may be, but she had no choice, she just wanted to be left alone.

Biology class seemed to drag on. She listened to the teacher babble on, but her thoughts kept drifting elsewhere all day, she tried to concentrate. But her mind was on thinking about something. She toyed with the tip of her pencil when the dreaded lunch bell rang,

_Theyr'e going to ask me a million questions. This is going to kill me. One way or another._

They all had gathered on the same table. She watched quietly as they talked and laughed boisterously. All of them eager, some of them hyper and most of them talking amongst themselves loudly. She felt like an observer rather than a participant in the group. She ate her lunch quietly when Jessica sat down next to her with that look on her face,

"Alright. ." Bella said in a defeated tone, "Ask away. ." Jessica smiled and said, "So what were you doing in Carlisle's car? Did you get to see Edward? Oh my gosh was he there? Was he with his dad?"

Bella swallowed hard. The questions kept on piling up,

"Jessica slow down. No one can answer all those questions that fast." Bella replied with a small smile as she played with the wierd looking macaroni noodle on her plate.

"Jessica maybe you should be a gossip columnist." Tyler jovially says as he wiggled a gummi worm in front of Jessica's face.

"Get that thing away from me!" Jessica yells as she gets up from the table and get's chased by Tyler as he grabbed a handful of gummi worms. "Jessica wait! theyr'e your friends!"

Bella shook her head as mirth touched her lips looking at her two friends.

"I swear those two are gonna get married someday." Bella looked up as she saw Mike take a seat next to her with a smile on his face,

"Hey, Bella."

"Hey. ." She replied with a small nod.

"So what's up with you and Eddy?-"

She cut him off "You mean Edward."

"Yeah. Are you guys still-"

"No." She tucked a loose strand of hair as she shook her head. She didn't know wether she was saying no as an answer to her status with Edward or no because she didn't want him to continue with the question.

Mike gave a small nod, an awkward smile on his lips.

"So. .um. .Bella, there's this new horror movie that just got out this week. . .do you wanna go watch it with me?" Mike asked, his eyes hopeful.

"I-I don't think I'm fre-"

"It's okay, maybe some other time." Mike replied as he cut her off, his face trying hard not to show disappointment.

The room had suddenly become very hot. She felt like the walls were closing in on her. The noise and their voices suddenly became louder. She couldn't take it anymore. She left the table without a word.

_Class had finally ended. As I stepped out of the school I felt like I had just been released from a prison. I don't think I would have lasted much longer in there. All the stares, all their questions. I feel suffocated just thinking about it. At least I have something to look forward to tonight, Carlisle had told me I could visit him again if I wanted to._

And I intend to.

I know how wrong it sounds. I know how stupid it sounds. But, he makes me feel.

Better.

It's like I don't have to be alone going through all of this when I'm with him. I don't have to be scared. I don't have to hide all the time. I know how ridiculous I'm sounding, but he's helping me.

Probably more than he knows.

She knew she had to walk home. Her chevy would probably be alright in Carlisle's driveway,_ It's not like someone is gonna go there and steal an old chevy._She decided that she would pick it up later in hope that it will start, or at least show signs of life in that ancient engine.

She let out a sigh and started out into the driveway, what she saw, she did not expect.

Jacob was there driving her chevy, a smile on his face. She walked towards him,

"Jake. . .How did-" She stared in disbelief, it wouldn't even give out a spark just this morning.

His smile faded subtly, "Carlisle had called my dad, he had told him about your car, so naturally I was the one to come and fix it." His smile came back again, "There's no chance I'm letting you walk home."

"Thank you, Jacob." Bella replied with a small smile.

"What are you standing there for, get in."

He swung open the passenger seat.

Bella was quiet the whole ride back to her house. The events of the other day was still fresh in her mind.

She had gotten out of the car. Jacob followed her,

"Bella. ." He said gently, "Just wait for a minute."

Bella paused, and looked at him, her eyes seemed to carry a look of disappointment in them.

"Bella, I'm sorry about yesterday."

"Jake, you don't have t-"

He cut her off.

"No, listen to me, I did that because I care for you. I want what's best for you Bella, you have to believe me." He said as he looked her in the eyes.

Bella met his gaze.

"I just. . .I just don't want you near them Bella."

"Jake, you can't ask me that." Bella said as she broke their eye contact.

"Bella, you are nothing but a food source to them." Jacob said between gritted teeth.

"Just stop it Jacob." Bella warned,

"Can't you see every single time your'e with them you are bound to get killed?" Jacob tried to reason with her.

"And every single time that happened they were there to save me." She shot back.

Bella turned and started to walk away from him and into her house. But her grabbed her hand,

"And how long is that streak gonna keep up, huh? do you really think they are capable of emotion Bella? theyr'e dead!"

She pulled her hand back from his grasp. Anger flashed in her eyes.

When she spoke her tone was low.

"Just leave Jacob. ."

"Bella. . .I-"

"Leave!" She yelled.

She watched his eyes fill with pain before he turned and started to run away from her.

She entered her house and shut the door behind her. She took a calm breath as she leaned against the door. She dropped her bag, and walked to the kitchen.

"Charlie?" She called out, but there was no response.

She grabbed a glass from the cupboard and walked to the fridge, she paused. There was a post-it on the refrigerator door,

_"Bells,_

Got your note. Gone fishing, will be back tonight. Stay safe.

-Charlie."

Bella proceeded opening the fridge and grabbed the orange juice.

She sat in deep thought as she poured herself a drink.

Jacob's words hurted her deeply. A tear escaped the corner of her eye as she wiped it with her sleeve. Things were slowly changing. And that's what she feared most.

_If only I could stop time from going forward and go back. There's a precariousness about life that I have no control over. Things begin and end so quickly, it's like it's gone before I can reach out and grab it. I don't want to loose Jacob. But things are starting to look bleak for us. If he could only understand what's in my heart. If only he would try._

Later that evening.

All the worries the day had given her were left the moment she had seen him again. She watched him from beneath the large curls that framed her face as he prepared her a salad. He was always so calm, so peaceful and so patient. His eyes glimmered with soft laughter as she tried to tell him a joke and missed the punchline. That was one of the best things about him, she never had to be different around him, he always welcomed her and never, not once made her feel like she was alone.

He was driving her home in comfortable silence. The night air was cool and fresh from the afternoon rain.

"So how did things go at the hospital today? they didn't get suspicious that you came back?" Bella asked as she looked at him.

His eyes were kept steady as he looked at the road.

"Not at all, I told them I had papers to finish, before the house was to be sold. That could have been easily handled over the phone. Bella, Alice called me today." Carlisle's features were strained with concern. She could feel his next words weren't exactly going to be good news.

"Victoria is nearing Forks."

She could feel her head begin to throb at the thought of it.

"But I won't leave you, I promise."

He noticed her silence and turned to look at her. Her face seemed pensive, she did not meet his eyes. A stray lock of hair was in her face and he gently took it and tucked it neatly behind her ear. She looked into his eyes as he spoke once more,

"I never break a promise."

Their gaze had deepened.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl. Something was fast approaching. He could feel it.

There was only seconds left. He had quickly unbuckled her seat belt and pulled her close to him as he smashed the window in the passenger seat when. . .

Something unseen, too fast for the human eye to see collided with the car, It had come out from the darkness as it propelled the vehicle into a catastrophic 360 degree turn into the woods followed by an unearthly silence. . .

Bella opened her eyes. She wasn't sure what had happened, she was knocked out for several minutes. She looked around but was in sheer darkness. She could feel the dirt and dead leaves beneath her hands. Carlisle had saved her from the crash, but he is nowhere to be found.

"Carlisle?" She called out but her voice came only in a whisper.

There was something moving fast around her, she couldn't see it. The darkness of the night made her blind to what lay in front of her. There it was again, there seemed to be something rustling wildly from a distance when a hand grabbed hers followed by a familiar voice,

"Don't say anything. I'll explain later." It was Alice. She couldn't believe it.

Bella did as she was told as Alice lead her through the darkness. Bella's heart was beating fast, she was afraid it was going to leap out of her chest.

"Bella, Hang on to me." Alice said her voice barely above a whisper.

Bella wrapped her arm around Alice's neck as she started to climb. Alice placed her on top of what felt like a large tree branch. She didn't exactly know how high from the ground they were but with the blinding darkness from below, she suddenly felt acrophobic. She could barely make out the trees as the moon was engulfed in a dark cloud.

"Alice W-"

"Shhh, you have to stay here Bella, I'll be back, don't make a sound, stay hidden." And then she was gone.

Bella stood there panic-stricken. She grasped the large branch that was hanging above her with her frail hands, as she tried to listen to what was going on from beneath.

She could hear loud blows. And what sounded like snapping sounds from a distance. It was far at first then nearer and nearer. It stopped for a moment until she felt something crashing into the tree.

Adrenaline kicked in as she stumbled to regain her balance but failed. She was now hanging by her hands, she gripped the branch tighter as her fingers were slowly coming off. What made matters worse was the tree was now swaying to a strong wind as it started to fall backwards.

Her hands slipped.

But she had caught her fall, she hung helplessly onto a broken tree branch before it had snapped, sending her crashing into the forest ground as she landed on her wrist.

After a few long moments she had gotten up slowly, She checked herself to see if there was anything broken, but there was none.

Or so she thought.

She had tried to move her left wrist but a wave of pain hit her as it felt like her hand was about to explode. It was broken, she oculd barely move the fingers. She bit her lip to keep from screaming when someone was at her side instantaneously. He had picked her up in his arms as he ran at inhuman speed.

"We have to get you out of the woods." Carlisle's voice broke through the darkness.

The wind felt cold against her face as she grasped tighter to his shirt with her right hand.

She could see the highway as Alice's familiar car came into view.

They were inside the car.

"Alice-"

"It's in the bottom of the seat Carlisle." Alice replied.

He grabbed the black bag as he started to unroll a peice of gray cloth and started to put a cast around Bella's wrist.

"What was that back there?" Bella asked, her face still retaining the traces of panic.

"We had to come sooner Bella, I had a vision that Victoria had changed course and took a shortcut. She's in Forks as we speak." Alice explained her face filled with fear.

"W-What?" She shook her head, not wanting to believe what she was hearing.

Alice glanced at Carlisle.

"You have to get out of the car halfway there Carlisle." Alice said, looking at him through the rearview mirror as he skillfully began to bind the cast around Bella's wrist.

"Alright." He replied as he finished the last bind.

"Get-Get out where? He dosn't need to get out." Bella asked disconcerted. But then she noticed Carlisle's clothing had been wripped as if something had clawed at him.

"It will be alright Bella." Carlisle said as he opened the car window and was gone within a blink of an eye.

They had reached her house.

Bella sat there trying to decipher what was happening. She was worried and scared that Victoria was going to come to her house to continue her vendetta against her when Alice spoke,

"Don't worry Bella, Jasper and Carlisle are watching your house, in case she returns." Alice assured her. But somehow the reality of the situation was starting weight heavily more so on her mind.

Charlie had opened the front door. The moment he saw Bella's hand his face instantly cringed with worry,

"Bella what in the world hap-"

"Charlie." Alice greeted as she gave him a warm smile. Charlie looked puzzled to see her.

He walked up to his daughter and checked on her as they walked to the front door.

"Bella what happened?" he asked, Bella started to speak but nothing came out.

"Well." Alice started, "We were moving some things out of our house when Bella stopped over. She thought that Edward had come back to pick up the rest of his stuff. But it was only me and Carlisle, I offered to drive her home and on the way out she had slipped and broken her wrist when she fell."

"Huh." Charlie snorted. "Thanks, I guess Alice." Charlie added lamely.

"Goodnight Bella, I hope your hand get's better soon." Alice replied as she gave Bella a look, that had a thousand different significances to them before she walked back to the car.

Late into the evening, after Bella had reassured her father countless of times that she was okay, she started into her bedroom.

She was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. She collapsed onto her bed. The events that happened today was too much for her as the room began to spin and her vision started to darken as she passes out.

Some time later, Carlisle climbed into her window. He walked to her bed quietly to find her still wearing her jacket and shoes. He gave a small smile. He gently removed her jacket then her shoes and placed a blanket over her. She was sleeping soundly. He brushed a stray lock of hair off her face as he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek,

"Goodnight Bella." He whispered.


	6. Uncovered

_It had been a week since Victoria had attacked. _

_As night takes over, I close my eyes and I see her face emerging from the darkness. _

_Taunting me. _

_Haunting me. _

_A cold chill runs through me with the knowledge that each night as I sleep._

_She might be there waiting, to finish what she had begun._

_Each day passed. Each moment, pushing me further and further against an emotional brick wall, with all the elements against me._

_The intoxicating fear that runs through me not knowing what the next day could bring._

_But I wasn't alone. That I'll always be thankful for._

_For two days straight, Alice and Jasper watched over my house, cautiously waiting for any sign of her. Those two days seemed to drag on endlessly, time stubbornly refusing to move._

_Carlilse had been with me, all this time._

For several nights, just before the skies show murky signs of light. Before the faintest trace of her nightmare's began. He was there, sitting at her bedside, reading to her in soft whispers. His voice giving her peace in a time filled with shattered remains that was her life, easing the bruises she had endured within herself, he had become her haven.

She could never bring herself to ask the question. Why him? Why was it him on that roof that night? the answer seemed vague and retreated back into the recesses of her subconcious.

Time seemed to move both so slowly and quickly during those moments at early dawn, when he read to her so sweetly, each word so soft and barely above a whisper.

_Things are starting to feel different._

Each time she saw him, she fought with all her strength and will power inside to not betray the feelings that were starting to come up to the surface. At first she denied it, thinking that she was just extremely thankful to him _but_. . .

_This isn't right. I can't be doing this. I can't be feeling this. This can't be._

But her inner struggle would reach an all new high when she would think of him.

_He's like the pull of gravity. I can't explain it. It's like something inside that just pulls me to him. His gentle ways, his immeasurable kindness._

_With Edward it always felt like I had to be with him all the time. He had always been so heated with even the smallest of things. But with Carlisle there was no raging need to always be with him all of the time, things come naturally when I'm with him, and everything had a time for itself._

_He has this soft tenderness about him in the way that he is._  
_Wether it be a look or a touch, it seems to overshadow Edward's intense nature_.

Even with just the thought of it in her head, it made her feel heavy with guilt for Esme.

Esme whom she had come to love as her own mother, she had been nothing but kind to her.

She let out a tired sigh as she pushed away the math homework that she was working on, guilt had apparently tampered with her concentration.

She thought about Edward.

_I'm in love with Edward._

_I love Edward._

_Wer'e supposed to be together, forever._

_Right?_

She laid back on her bed and closed her eyes. She took in a deep breath and tried to empty her mind when she heared someone open her window and entered, before Bella could say anything she saw her petite friend look around in her room,

Alice walked up to her and sat down next to the bed with that sweet expression on her face,

"I don't wanna hurt you Bella, but you really need to redecorate."

Alice said as her eyes looked over her furniture and walls with an expert eye.

Bella let out a laugh.

"Yeah, no. Alice, I'm not redecorating." She watched amused as Alice shook her head in  
disapproval.

"Bella, I wanna tell you something. . ." Alice's face taking on a more serious expression,

"What is it?" Bella asked, as she tried to meet Alice's eyes.

"Jasper told me something. . .But, I'll tell you later. . ." Alice replied changing her decision.

"Bella, I also came here to tell you that. . .Edward's back."

"What?"

Bella wasted no time in running downstairs and almost tripped on the way down, she almost clawed the front door as she bursted out of the house.

She sat on the passenger seat as she fidgeted with her hands. A million thoughts ran through her mind as they drove halfway there. She bit her lip, filled with excited trepidation as she was about to face Edward for the first time in months.

They had reached the house.

"Everyone else had gone hunting. Except for Edward and Esme." Alice explained as she parked the car. Bella gave a nervous nod, as a stab of guilt coursed through her body.

She was greeted with a loving hug by Esme as she entered the house.

"Bella, it's so good to see you." Esme said as she gave her a sweet smile,

"It's good to see you too, Esme." She replied feeling the guilt worsen as she tried to hide it from her face.

"Edward's out on the porch." She motioned to Edward who was standing out on the porch his back turned.

Her breath caught in her throat for a moment and swallowed hard as she gave a small nod.

Emmett was the first Cullen back from hunting.

He had a playful smirk as he watched quietly as Bella entered the porch.

"So Bella's back." He spoke as he stood next to Alice.

"Yeah. . ." She replied quietly, she watched as Edward wrapped Bella in an embrace.

They both watched in silence for several minutes as Bella and Edward started talking.

Emmett could see Bella's brows starting to furrow. He whispered to Alice,

"Bet you 50 bucks they get into a fight." He said as a grin spread on his face.

"Your'e on." Alice said. In fact she knew exactly how it was going to go.

"I gotta go, I'll be back in a while." Alice said,

"But-" Before Emmett could even protest she had gone.

Bella stormed out of the porch, her face red with anger.

"Bella, Bella stop." Edward said, his voice frustrated.

"You just got back and your'e telling me to stay away?!" She yelled.

"It's what's best Bella, we can't risk it. I'm doing what's best for you." Edward replied, standing by his reason.

Bella took one last look at him as she ran out of the house and slammed the door shut.

Emmett looked at Edward,

"Edward, what is wrong with you?" Emmett said as he shook his head and exited the living room.

Edward shook his head as he walked back to the porch as the feeling of frustraion overcame him. He stood there as he looked at the tall masts of trees that framed the night sky. The situation was getting out of hand. Victoria was out there, and there's no way of stopping her from doing what she intends to do. He had to find a way to stop her. . .

Bella took a long bath that night. Her mind in turmoil.

She didn't expect things to go that way. When she had stepped onto the porch and saw Edward she had expected a wave of emotions to go through her, she expected the burning desire to throw herself at him. _But_she didn't. Instead she stood there staring at him. As they spoke she could feel a wall that was right there between them.

And that started to scare her.

She didn't know what she was angriest at the most. What Edward said or Herself.

She turned off the shower and stepped out. She grabbed her bath robe and stepped out, as she dried her hair with a towel, she stopped in her tracks.

Esme and Alice were in her room.

"Um. . ." She stood there shocked,

"Bella, I-We have something to tell you." Alice said as she took Bella's hand and lead her to sit on the bed. She looked at Esme who was standing near her closet, a soft smile on her face.

"Bella, Jasper told me. . .About your _feelings_. . . for Carlisle." Alice said carefully.

Bella felt like someone had punched her in the stomach.

_This is it. Esme is going to hate me._

She sat there flabbergasted.

"Wha-I-I didn-" She was stuttering.

"Alice, I think you should get back to the others." Esme said cutting through the silence that lingered. Alice glanced at Esme who gave her a look in which she understood. "Right." Alice said as she said goodnight to Bella before disappearing.

Somehow being in the same room with Esme felt horrible. The guilt that was tearing at her gut was excruciating. She would rather be chased by Victoria in the woods than have to bear the guilt that was torturing her.

Esme was looking at her, a serene expression on her face. She walked to her dressing table and had gotten a brush and sat next to her.

"May I?" Esme asked with a gentle smile. Bella nodded, not daring to meet her eyes.

Esme started to brush her hair gently. Somehow this made Bella long for her mother.

"You know, I think I was barely sixteen when I had first met Carlisle. I had fallen from that tree that day, and he had come over our house to fix my broken leg." Esme said as she started to untangle the ends of her hair with gentle strokes. Bella closed her eyes afraid of what she was going to hear next.

"The first time I saw him, I thought he was the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on. Of course I still do." Esme replied, as soft mirth escaped her lips, as she continued to brush Bella's hair.

Bella sat there listening to her, feeling apprehensive.

"You know Bella from what I've learned walking this earth for a very long time, is that love takes on a lot of different forms, and at some point it can take on disguises."

Bella listened, not quite comprehending what she meant by that.

"A love like what Carlisle and I have is something that can' be destroyed." She said as she neatly began to brush the top of her head, Bella sat there wincing.

"We love each other, and still very much do. Even though we love _differently _now, and have been for quite some time." Esme said quietly.

Bella looked at Esme. "You mean, you and Carl-"

Esme replied, "Yes, but only Alice and Jasper knows. We had decided to keep it a secret for a while waiting for the right moment. You know how the others might overreact."

Bella nodded.

"It's okay to be scared. . .It's okay Bella." Esme said gently.

"But-"

Esme cut her off.

"If love is right, it is the most precious gift in the world. But you must be sure, very sure that it is right. For if it isn't, there is no worse agony, nothing more bitter, nothing more lonely to be imagined."

The look in Esme's eyes finally made her understand.

Esme had finished brushing her hair and was starting towards the window when Bella spoke,

"Wait." Bella ran up to her and hugged her. Esme returned the hug and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you." Bella said as she looked up at her with deep gratitude in her eyes.

"Anytime, Bella." Esme said as she smiled before she disappeared.

Bella sat back down on her bed. She thought about what Esme said.

_This is going to be a long night. . ._


	7. The hunt begins

_There had been a ceasefire from Victoria._

_Alice told me that even though she's still in Forks,_

_she's gone into hiding, for how long, Alice didn't say._

_Days passed, since Esme had spoken to me that night._

_The next decision I had to make was going to be hard._

_I decided to reconcile with Edward, for a while. I needed to be sure of what I was feeling. I needed to know if I still loved him. I needed to know if what I felt for Carlisle was right._

_Those days. Felt like a lifetime. A lifetime away from him._

_If what I'm feeling is wrong, then I can let him go, with deep gratitude in my heart for what he has done for me. And to always cherish the moments of peace he gave me. ._

_If it's right, then I'll fight for it with all I have._

_If only I can know what's in his heart._

_I spent those days with Edward. We were both happy to be together again, for a while. But I could feel the imminent change in me, but the change was subtle, he didn't quite notice. But I did. When he would talk, I found my thoughts drifting to Carlisle, his smile, his eyes, his voice. There will have to come a time when I'm going to have to tell Edward about this. He deserves the truth . . ._

_That should be fun._

_Ex-boyfriend returns home to girlfriend, to find that she's in love with his adoptive father._

_Ironic._

It was early morning in Forks, the heavy embrace of the fog was just starting to lift. Carlisle was in his study, reading. He was thankful that the rest of the family at least brought back _some_of the furniture with them.

Esme entered the room a few mintues later. Judging from her facial expression, he knew, that she knew.

They both sat together for a few minutes in silence. Their eyes met and there was an unspoken conversation that happened between them.

Even though, they no longer were husband and wife, and haven't been for a long while, they still very much and always will care about what the other was feeling. But in his heart, if Esme had asked him to stay with her, he would. He could never, he would never refuse her. As he remembered the first day he had seen Bella, he could never forget her.

Then there's that long corridor in time between Bella and him, it would always come back to haunt him, her _eyes_, those dark brown eyes would be his ghost. That spectre of sadness to the question that his immortal life, that would one day ask him _What if?_

Slowly he stood up, and walked to where Esme was sitting. He knelt down in front of her as he looked on with searching eyes, as he took her in a close embrace.

He was ready. Ready for whatever Esme wished of him.

He had to think of Bella's happiness. How selfish would it be for him to take away that from her, he couldn't, he wouldn't do that to her.

He _loves _her too much.

Esme looked at him, with those kind eyes. He could never lie to her, as he held her in his arms he waited for her to speak.

"So, you love her." Esme said. It was more of a statement than a question.

Carlisle nodded, not meeting her eyes.

"It's alright, I'll still be here. If ever you choose to come back." She whispered to him sweetly, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She touched his cheek gently as his eyes found hers.

"I-"

"Will you find me again?" She asks before he could speak, a gentle smile on her face.

"Yes." He whispered into her ear, as he held her tighter. "Thank you." He said earnestly, his lips trying to find the right words to express his gratitude.

"Perphaps we should tell the others tonight." Esme suggested.

"Yes, I think it's time. But I don't think Edward will take it so well." Carlsile replied, his heart heavy with guilt. But before Carlisle and Esme could finish their conversation, Emmett bursted into the room,

"What won't Edward take so well?" He asks, his face puzzled, as he enters the room.

"Later, please, Emmett." Esme said.

"But it can't wait." Emmett said his voice turning into a whine.

"What can't wait?" Carlisle replied.

"The Xbox broke." Emmett said, his face frowning. Carlisle shook his head, a small smile on his lips.

"What did I tell you about playing the Xbox for 1 week straight? I warned you it would break a fuse at some point." Carlisle said, lightly scolding his son.

"Alright, Carlisle. But enough with the lecture, you gotta come with me and get this fixed, my high score was almost up." Emmett said dragging Carlisle out of the room.

"Alright, alright." He kissed Esme on the cheek before he left, he mouthed to her _"Tonight."_As she gave a nod.

He had a lot to think of before tonight came. He was filled with a cold fear and doubt.

He hadn't seen her in days, since Edward had returned. And he had the chance to think things over. If she still loved Edward, then he'd let her go, for her happiness was far more important than his. . .

Tonight was going to be extremely important.

Later that night.

Bella was visiting Edward that night. She had carefully avoided Carlisle's eyes as she entered the house. Giving him only a brief smile. All of the Cullens were home that night, and she had no intention of betraying her secret for all of the rest of them to see. Carlisle kept a close but quiet watchful eye on her as the evening progressed.

All three Cullens were scattered across the living room watching television.

Rosalie was curled up in an easy chair reading a book as Emmett and Jasper sat on the couch.

Carlisle took the seat next to Jasper, he made himself comfortable with his book. He took a quick glance at the porch, Bella was talking to Alice. He felt a sting of worry go through him, he could feel she was trying to avoid to look at him.

He pushed the thought aside as he tried to concentrate reading.

Once again he found himself reading the chapter he had read to her that night.

_I thought I was without a soul, till I saw her face that day. Those dark eyes that glimmered with a fire that burned so exquisitely beneath dark lashes. If only I knew the secret of her heart. _

He stopped his thoughts. He could feel something. He placed his book down and found Jasper looking at him wide-eyed.

What made matters worse,

Edward had just walked into the room and read Jasper's trail of thoughts.

Bella could never quite comprehend what happened as she and Alice heard the screaming from inside the house.

"Carlisle, how could you do this to me!" Edward yelled, his eyes burning with anger.

"Edward-I-" Carlisle had tried to explain,

"My Father, my own father!" Edward yelled.

Alice and Bella entered the room.

"Edward, please-" Carlisle started to try to placate him.

"No!" Edward screamed as he started to pace back and forth furiously. He stopped as he saw Bella's expression,

"Don't act so innocent." Edward said, his tone dangerously low.

"Edward, what are t-" Bella stammered as she tried to take in what was happening.

"If you could only hear, his thoughts about you." Edward sneered.

_Carlisle's thoughts? about me?_

She finally understood as she felt her blood begin to rush. The room had gone inhumanly quiet as the shock was starting to set in.

Edward walked up to face her. Him standing so close to her made her physically sick, his anger was seething in every fiber of his being.

"Do you love him?" Edward asked, his tone low.

"Edward I-"

"Answer me!" Edward yelled. She was stuttering. Then she could feel something in him snap.

"I won't ask again, Bella." He said as he grabbed her arm painfully, he was dragging her across the room.

"Edward, let me go, your hurting me." Bella said, fear in her voice.

"Let her go Edward." Carlisle said putting a hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Stay out of this Carlisle." Edward spat out, but Carlisle held a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Get your hand off of me." Edward said, his voice dripping with wrath.

"Edward I-"

Within a breath of a second, Edward had pushed Bella to the floor as he pushed Carlisle with a heavy blow, sending him crashing into the wall.

"Edward Stop!" Rosalie yelled,

"Stay out of this Rose." Edward warned.

"Edward, please." Alice pleaded, as she tried to come near Edward.

"Don't! don't touch me, Alice."

He turned to look at Bella, who was standing, and looked several shades paler than usual.

"How could you do this to me Bella? I gave you-I gave you everything!" He screamed. Bella winced,

"I'm going to ask one more time. Do you love him?" He spoke through gritted teeth.

She took a breath.

_This is it._

But before she could speak. Carlisle stood up and spoke, cutting her off,

"I love her, Edward."

Time seemed to have stopped as Edward sped across the room and grabbed Carlisle by the neck, and pinned him down on the ground with one knee.

"Edward, don't!" Bella screamed. Esme entered the room and gasped as she saw Carlisle being pinned to the cold floor.

"Edward, Please let him go."

He shook his head, "Not yet."

Carlisle let out a silent groan, as Edward tightened his knee against Carlisle's neck. This time Jasper and Emmett stepped in, fastidiously almost clawing him off Carlisle.

"Let me go!" He yelled as he tried to get out of their grasp.

Bella ran to Carlisle, as tears formed in her eyes. He held her close to him.

"So, it is true." Edward said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"How-how could you do this to me?" Edward said as he shook his head, "You have no one to blame but yourself Bella, this is, your fault!." Edward said, as he glared at her.

Carlisle, sent a look to Alice, and she nodded.

"Bella, you have to come with me." Alice whispered,

"But-" She looked at Carlisle who was nodding at her to go,

Alice wasted no time as she got Bella out of the house.

"Where are you taking her Carlisle!" Edward yelled, He managed to slip off of Emmett and Jasper's grasp as he sailed across the room and crashed towards Carlisle.

Bella could still hear the screams even as she was inside Alice's car.

"Please, please, Alice. We-We have to go back." Bella pleaded her eyes red from crying.

_I feel like being ripped apart. I left, leaving the other half of me with him. I can't and will not leave without him, not after what he said._

I love him, too.

"Alice please, please." Bella begged.

"But, Carlisle gave me specific instructions to keep you safe." Alice said, trying to reason with her.

"Alice, I'm not leaving, not without him." Bella said stubbornly.

Alice nodded, knowing there was no way to break Bella's resolve. They were starting to turn back when. . .

A loud bang could be heard as something landed on the roof of the car.

"Alice, What was th-"

Everything was starting to happen in an instant as a fist punched the window, sending glass flying wildly in the air as a strong hand grabbed Bella from inside with a ferocious grasp.

"Bella!" Alice screamed, She tried to pull Bella back inside but it was too late. Bella was gone.

Alice stopped the car. She stepped out and inhaled. The scent belonged to Victoria.

"Oh no." Alice exclaimed.

Alice was panicking as she drove with all speed back to the house. As she entered the house, she looked to find that everything was in ruins, as she went to the living room she saw this time, Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie had secured Edward to a spot where he can't move.

Carlisle saw her come inside, he could feel something was _very_wrong.

"Alice, Wher-"

She cut him off,

"Victoria's back, and she has Bella."


	8. Inception

Carlisle stood there. For a moment he lost himself. Images flashed through his mind, consuming him in a violent torrent.

"Carlise, what do we do?" Alice said, her eyes looking up at him.

"Alice, we need a vantage point. You and Jasper, go out into the farther end of the woods, we need to trace her scent." Carlisle said, his voice low, pained as he spoke,

"Right." Alice replied.

"It's alright, you can let me go." Edward said to the three who were holding him down.

They all looked at him as if he were a grenade about to explode.

"I can't help her if you all keep me tied down." Edward said, his voice lowering.

Carlisle nodded to them.

They all slowly got up. Wary. If Edward would have had another outburst, they would know what to do.

"Rosalie, Emmett." Carlisle called, He watched as they walked up to him. But Rosalie wasn't letting him finish.

"What was that back there, Carlisle?" Rosalie said, her tone harsh.

"I can't-"

"Can't what?" Rosalie spoke, cutting him off.

"Babe, let him finish." Emmett said, trying to calm her down. She shook her head as she swallowed her pride and crossed her arms.

"Emmett you and Rosalie, cover as much ground as you can, Victoria could still be carrying her."

Emmett nodded as he took Rosalie's hand leading her to the door, she was still giving Carlisle a look.

He watched them as they walked out the door. He let out a breath as he placed a hand on his forehead, he closed his eyes as he tried to subdue the thoughts that were running wild in his mind. The thought of Bella out there, with Victoria was enough to make him feel like his chest had dropped to his stomach.

Esme could sense that he was trying to appear calm. She walked up to him and placed a gentle hand on his back, "We'll find her." She said. He tried to give a small smile, but failed miserably. "I'll go help the others." She said as he nodded in reply. He watched Esme as she slowly exited the room. He was about to join her when,

"Carlisle." Edward called. Slowly walking towards him.

Carlisle looked at him. Apprehensive.

"So, you do love her." Edward said slowly, letting the words linger in his mouth.

Carlisle nodded. Not meeting his eyes.

"I love her too, you know." He said quietly.

Carlisle winced. He could feel his guilt rise up again, as he took a quick glance at his son's face.

"I just want her to be happy. To be safe." He looked down as he swallowed hard.

Carlisle nodded, listening to him.

"But if she wants, you. . ." Edward said not finishing his sentence, he let the words trail off.

Carlisle's brows furrowed, his eyes filled with pain as he averted his gaze.

"Edward I-"

"I want her to be happy." He cut him off as he spoke again, slowly.

Carlisle saw the look in his eyes, as he walked towards him. He met his gaze as he gently touched his son's face and pulled him into a hug.

"I love you, son." Carlisle said. "And I'm so, sorry." He whispered.

"Just-Just take care of her, please." Edward said quietly.

"I will." Carlisle promised.

_People say life is hard._

_They were right._

They were moving fast. Too fast. Bella felt like her body was being stretched and pulled by the wind as her abductor held her like a rag doll. It was dark, but she could see the trees glimmer under the pale moonlight. She was being held by the collar of her shirt, her legs dangling helplessly as she tried to shake herself free from the grasp,

"Now, I'll teach you what real pain is about." Victoria whispered to her, as she brought her lips disgustingly close to her ear.

They moved faster. It was getting darker, and the large trees were making it difficult to see. An omnious feeling was in the air. Fear was rising from her gut and slowly making it's way up to her mind, with images she did not want to see. She felt strangled. She closed her eyes as a strong wind was blowing past them. Finally she opened her eyes. She felt that they had stopped. She opened her eyes and was looking straight into Victoria's gaze. She was smiling. Bella knew nothing good could come out of that smile.

"Le-Let me go." Bella said finding her courage as she spoke between shaky breaths.

"Okay." Victoria replied lazily. And she did.

Bella was falling. The fall seemed to carry on into a life of it's own thrashing her body about, as she was flying in a downward spiral, blinding terror seething into the very core of her. Her arms flailing about as she tried helplessly to find something to grab on to. The seconds came to a halt as she screamed Carlisle's name before she crashed to the hard ground.

She had lost all sense of time. She lay there, like a ragged piece of dirty cloth. She had stopped breathing when. . .

A hard cough escaped her. She woke up. It felt as if someone had knocked the wind out of her. She blinked several times. As she looked up she could see an opening of some sort. She wasn't exactly sure, she blinked several times and her vision cleared. Her stomach dropped as she realized it was an opening of a large hole. Victoria was smiling down at her,

"Good, your'e awake." Victoria said sarcastically. "I'll send your regards, to the cullen family." She said with a wry smile before she disappeared.

Bella could feel helpless anger inside of her. She slowly sat up. It was a miracle. She hadn't broken her back. she got up quickly. _Too_ quickly when she felt a snap go through her left leg. She let out a sharp cry of pain. Her left leg was broken. She sat back down for a minute before impulsively standing back up again, she limped her way across the other side of the hole that she was in. She could see there were large tree roots everywhere, they were sticking out in large bundles, they looked incredibly ugly, like distorted and gnarled hands. _It might be a way out_.

Slowly, she leaped on one leg and grabbed the largest root that she could find, the second she grabbed it, she slowly started to climb. Her process was painfully slow. Before she could even make it halfway, her hands were starting to slip as she climbed higher. A second passed as she lost her grip and she fell back to the ground with a hard thud.

The Cullens were spreading fast out into the dark woods, in hot pursuit of Victoria. Carlisle was on the top of a rocky ledge as he looked on out into the vast forest, his sharp eyes missing nothing.

"Carlisle?" Alice said through the darkness, as she walked up behind him.

Carlisle glanced at her quietly,

"We've lost Bella's scent."

Carlisle's brows furrowed in distress.

"Call him, Call him now, Alice." Carlisle said, his voice low.

Alice nodded and disappeared into the night.

Bella screamed as she fell down for the fourth time. This time landing on her leg. It had been several hours since she was there. The deep silence of the dark, taunting her, tempting her fear. But she wasn't going to give in. She was covered in prespiration. The temprature was damp and moist down there, and it seemed the longer she stayed the more it seemed that the walls were closing in on her, she stood up and was about to take another leap when a voice she knew in a second called out to her,

"Bella!"

She looked up, and she knew before she saw who it was.

Jacob Black.


	9. Ne me quitte pas

Jacob jumped down and landed lightly on his feet.

"Jake. . . How did you. . ." Bella exclaimed. She didn't know what she was shocked at the most, how much Jacob's appearance had changed or the fact that he knew where to find her. He seemed _bigger. _It's like a light switch had gone on in his eyes.

"Bella, I have to get you out."

She nodded quickly.

"Get on my back."

She quickly climbed his back and hung on to his neck, she let her broken leg dangle in fear that it might get upset with the slightest touch. She watched in awe as Jacob jumped out of the hole in one single leap. But awe turned into horror as the familiar snapping of trees could be heared looming in the distance. He set Bella firmly on the ground,

"We have to run Bella." He whispered, keeping his voice down.

Jacob started to take her hand and lead her through the trees when she stopped him,

"I can't run, Jake." Bella motioned to her broken leg. The sounds were getting closer.

In one swift move, he took her his arms and started to run. She couldn't believe how fast he was going, as he ran Bella could hear the branches snapping ferociously from behind. She could feel naked fear beginning to pulsate, as she looked on. The air was cold, the night foreboding. She strained to see through the darkness for any sign of Victoria. And then, there she was.

She was wildly leaping from one tree to the next, her red hair flowing violently under the night sky as she begun to close in on them.

Jacob wasn't blind to the terror that was behind them. He pushed harder as he ran faster.

As they ran further into the forest, Bella searched the trees once more for any sign of her. She seemed to have disappeared.

She thought the worst was over, when. . . .

Before Bella could take in a breath, Victoria pounced.

The force sent them tumbling down a small hill. The world seemed to spin as she tossed and fell, she felt sick as she rolled onto the dirty ground. She laid there as she tried to catch her breath. Fatigue was beginning to take over, from a distance she could hear a wild animal roaring followed by a rustling in the trees. She stood up and limped her way blindly through the darkness when she heared a voice, echoing in the distance. She knew that voice in a heartbeat.

_Carlisle._

With whatever strength she had left, she limped towards where she heard the voice. The moon illuminated her path as she strove on, she crouched low behind the bushes and looked,

Victoria had Carlisle pinned to the ground, but he rebounded and sent her crashing to a tree.  
The fighting continued as she watched helplessly as Carlisle fought on. Victoria had managed to slip her hands onto Carlisle's neck when Bella emerged from behind the bushes.

"Let him go!" She screamed as she tripped onto the ground.

A smirk formed on Victoria's face.

"Bella, no!" Carlisle screamed. He slipped out of Victoria's hands and with a forceful punch sent her flying through the trees.

He was at Bella's side instantly,

"Bella, you have to run." Carlisle spoke gently, As he placed a hand on her cheek.

"No, I'm not leaving without you." She said as tears formed in her eyes.

"Bella. . .please. ." Carlisle begged as he leaned his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes, silently pleading.

"Not without you." She whispered to him, their eyes meeting. He leaned in and kissed her softly. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips against hers. She could feel the blood rush to her face as his lips lingered onto hers for a precious second longer, before a voice caused them to pull apart,

"Bella." Jacob called out as he ran to where she was. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Carlisle and Bella.

"What do you think your'e doing Carlilse, huh?" Jacob snapped.

"Jake, don't." Bella protested, as she turned to look at him.

"You have to get her out her." Carlisle said to Jacob.

"You bet I will." Jacob said, grinding his teeth.

"You two have to go, Victoria's coming back." Edward said as he walked up to the three.

"Already on it." Jacob said as he took Bella in his arms.

Bella looked at Carlisle with a heavy heart. He mouthed to her "I'll be alright."

Jacob was starting to run, Bella started to say something when Victoria sprang on the two of them which sent Bella flying across the forest floor as she crashed into a large tree before falling to the ground with a hard bang. Bella will never forget as she saw her best friend turn into a large beast in front of her eyes, as he stood protectively in front of her. She couldn't believe it at first. But then as the beast turned to look at her, she knew. It was his eyes, it was Jacob.

Edward, Carlisle and Jacob stood still. Victoria was out of sight once more. They scanned the trees, waiting. A deep cold silence around them.

Suddenly with a blink of an eye, she was there as she emerged from the dark and launched herself onto Bella, pushing her into something hard and sharp. She crashed into her, and then for a brief instant, Bella could feel something go through her skin. She watched as Edward pulled Victoria away from her as the rest of the Cullens arrived and took hold of the feral vampire.

Bella looked into the sky. It was beginning to turn into a deep shade of purple as dawn was nearing. She could hear Victoria's scream in the distance, She saw as Emmett and Jasper took a lighted tree branch and placed it on the ground as they started to form a bonfire.

"Bella." Jacob said as he took a seat on the ground next to her.

"So, your'e a werewolf." Bella said casually.

"Yep." He replied with a smile.

"Really hairy." She replied with a chuckle.

"I know." Jacob replied as a laugh escaped him. Laughter seemed to be the best medicine for the both of them as the nightmare they were in was coming to an end.

Bella tried to sit up when. . .

"Jacob. . ." Bella said, her eyes widening,

"What? don't tell me your jealous of my awesome powers." Jacob replied as he laughed. He noticed the expression on her face as he felt his smile fading.

"What is it?" Jacob asked, eyeing her carefully.

Bella could feel a sharp pain in her lower back as she tried to move. She bit her lip to keep from shouting.

"Jake, there's-there's something in my back."

"Let me take a look."

"NO! don't-just don't lift me up." She spoke as she grinded her teeth.

"Alright, just take it easy."

He proceeded to tilt her to the side about five inches up and saw a large sharp rock that was deeply imbedded into her back as the blood gushed out like a fountain.

"Oh, my g-" Jacob saw the look in Bella's eyes as he stopped in mid-sentence.

"Jake, what is it?" She asked, completely oblivious to what had happened. She looked at his face as it turned pale.

"Jake-"

"Carlisle!" Jacob screamed,

"Your'e gonna be fine Bella." Jacob assured her, but his voice was betraying him.

Carlisle emerged from the forest, He started to walk toward them when he stopped. He could smell the blood.

"Carlisle, what's happening?" Bella asked as she looked up at him, his eyes filled with grief and pain,

"You'll be fine." He spoke softly, his eyebrows furrowing as her face was beginning to pale. Edward walked up behind him, he too smelled the blood. He stood next to Carlisle, his expression dark, as he spoke in a tone, only him and Carlisle could hear,

"Carlisle. .Carlisle, do something. Save her. Please." Edward begged.

Bella's vision was darkening.

"Help her, Carlisle." Jacob said his voice quivering.

The world seemed to stop turning. As he looked at her, he felt like his whole being was being slowly, savagely torn apart.

"Carlisle. . ." Bella spoke, her voice slow and weak.

He took her gently in his arms. He placed a hand to her cheek as he spoke gently to her, the way he did when he read to her when dawn was about to break, when the darkness had become nothing but a mere myth, when it was only the two of them and all the world seemed to disappear.

"Bella. . .Bella stay with me, please." He whispered softly into her ear.

His immortal heart, breaking.


	10. Awake

She was loosing too much blood. The moment had come. It was the proverbial do or die. The sun was beginning to rise as she looked through her darkened vision. Her breath came in shallow gasps as her blood flowed like wine onto the dirty earth. Edward looked at her, his face grim. He had told her that he loved her, but he knew that her heart was no longer his.

Bella Swan took one more breath.

The last thing she saw, was Carlisle's eyes.

A shockwave began to enter her body followed by an excruciatingly blinding pain. Her body contorted and spasmed to the foreign substance that was pulsating fast into her. Her screams resounding into the air, as the pain escalated. Her blood was moving erraticlly like a tempest, and her body was the helpless insignificant speck that was floating in the very heart of the storm. She writhed in pain as she felt a new wave of thunderstorms striking her ruthlessly. She closed her eyes, silently begging for the pain to end.

Such a cold silence followed.

_I guess life was never meant to be easy._

_We wake up everyday, and struggle through the sea of people, trying hard not to drown._  
_Sometimes we feel alone, but we're really not. We just don't look hard enough to see what's staring us in the face. Life seems endless, but yet we have so little time. Everything else seem's to consume us. Faces in the crowd, eyes staring at you, life traveling within a timespan of a heartbeat, and then you find yourself caught in the middle, watching each day go, and all we have to go by are those precious moments when life seemed to come to a halt and you caught yourself just in time, before you slipped._

_I remember, when I was a kid, Charlie had taken me to the beach, I can't exactly remember where, I think I was 5. I was scared, I couldn't see nothing but miles of sand and water. Somehow the world back then seemed to be all-consuming. Life is different when you see them through the eyes of a child. I remember having felt so small and vulnerable, like I was nothing but a mere lint in a world filled with giants._

_But somehow things changed._

_Even though life had ended, mine was just beginning._

It was pitch black. A deafening silence around her. There was no wind and no light. She felt like she was floating aimlessly in some endless dark space, barely alive and dormant. And slowly, she could feel herself being pulled by some sense of force.

She was being engulfed in a kaleidoscope of light, as memories begin pouring into her mind, bright and clear as day itself. She was being pulled into a dizzying momentum as she floated to her destination.

She was awake.

The first thing she saw was the wooden ceiling. She blinked several times, everything around her seemed _brighter_, her eyesight was extremely acute, it's like if she concentrated hard enough she could see a splinter of wood that was remotely visible to the naked eye. She slowly stood up. She looked around and recognized the room as Carlisle's study, she had been lying on his high back leather sofa. She looked down to see that someone had changed her out of her clothes and onto a cotton-slik cream colored dress. She tilted her head in confusion, when suddenly the realization hit her as she placed a hand on the left side of her neck. _There_ it was, _his bite_. The peripheral of her vision told her there was a mirror hanging next to the empty bookcase. She closed her eyes and took a breath. She started to walk to the mirror, concentrating hard on the floor as she was nearing it. She bit her lip and glanced up.

She took a step back. Her skin seemed like translucent alabaster, her hair a vivid shade of chocolate. Her _eyes_, no longer the familiar shade of brown, but in its place a deep crimson red.

She was a _vampire_.

Suddenly her mouth had become increasingly dry, she raised her hand to touch her throat, she wasn't shocked at how cold her skin felt but at the overwhelming thirst that was overpowering her. Her head snapped at the glass window, several hundred miles away she could hear a bear lazily walking around the woods in search for food.

Her feral instincts were kicking in as she felt a floodgate of adrenaline rush in.

She erupted into the large window and bursted out, sending large shards of glass flying everywhere as they crashed to the ground in pieces. She landed lightly on the ground, without a single scratch. She inhaled, she caught the scent of the bear and bolted into the woods as a surge of speed started to propel her as her senses were awakening.

"Hey, Carlisle! Bella's awake, she broke the window, and I think she's hungry." Emmett yelled from the downstairs living room.

Carlisle smiled as he shook his head. He made his way downstairs, the rest of the Cullens were spread out into the living room,

"You better go after her, Carlisle, she might go for the whole town." Emmett joked.

She sailed swiftly through the forest ground, never even stopping for a breath. The wind felt good against her skin as she ran through the woods. God had smiled down on Forks, the day was bright and clear, not a single cloud in the sky.

She had never felt so alive, it felt like she had awaken from a long dream and was thrusted out into the light of day, she could see and hear _everything_.

She stopped abruptly. And hid behind a tree, the prey was in sight.

In a single leap, she climbed a tree and swung herself to the next as she poised herself directly above the bear, the intensity of the urge accelerated as she could hear the beast's heart beating.

The moment had come and she pounced onto the bear in a clean and direct hit, she had incredible strength as she grasped it tightly and took a bite.

There wasn't even a single drop on her dress. _Alice would be proud._

"Your'e doing well for a first timer." Carlisle spoke as mirth lighted his face and made his way towards her.

She took one look at him and smiled, she was unaware of her strength as she launched herself onto him sending him crashing to the ground.

"Take it easy, Bella." Carlisle said, an amused expression on his face

"I-I'm sorry." She apologized as her brows furrowed, she gently began to brush the leaves off of his clean blue polo.

"It's alright." He said softly, smiling up at her, as his hand brushed her cheek lightly.

They both got up and Bella was about to say something when she noticed the look on his face.

"What is it?" She asked, puzzled.

He stood closer to her and gently pulled her close to him as he enveloped her into an embrace. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, she breathed in his scent as a smile formed on her face. Her lips found their way to his ear and was about to whisper something when Alice came up to them,

"Sorry to interrupt." Alice said with a smile, but her face quickly became serious when she turned to look at Bella,

"Charlie's been calling, Bella."

Bella's smile faded. She nodded thinking hard.

"Your going to have to call him soon, he sounds really worried." Alice said.

"I-I'll-later, I will." Bella replied, trying to figure out how or what in the world she was going to say to her father.

They made their way back into the house.

As they entered, Carlisle and Bella noticed that Rosalie and Edward were in a bad mood.

"So, Carlilse, a single man huh." Emmett said as he playfully smacked his dad on the shoulder.

Carlisle glanced as Esme, she gave him a look and instantly he understood and nodded at her.

Edward looked at him for a long time as if deep in thought, and then nodded quietly as he exited to the upstairs bedroom.

Rosalie on the other hand, exited out into the balcony and almost broke the door as she slid it close.

Bella winced as a new wave of guilt washed over her,

"She'll be fine, she won't like it, but she'll be fine." Alice said as she stood next to Bella.

They both watched as Carlisle made his way onto the porch.

Carlisle stood next to Rosalie quietly, he started to speak, but she cut him off,

"Don't" She snapped. Her eyes looking out into the distance.

"The one thing, I can't understand is why you didn't tell me." A sarcastic smile on her face.

"But that's none of my business, It's yours and Esme's. We're just living together in one roof." She said in a biting note.

"Kitty. . ." Carlisle said gently.

"Don't! Just, don't." She yelled.

He took a step back, but watched her closely.

"I just wished you would have told me." Sadness in her voice as a frission of guilt washed over him.

"It's fine, if you love the human, it, her, whatever. You should have just told me." She said as she shook her head.

Carlisle walked closer and took her hand. Rosalie still refused to look at him as she fixed her eyes on the trees.

He pulled her close to him and said as he looked into her eyes,

"I'm sorry, kitty." He said earnestly.

She vowed to herself that she wasn't going to look at him. _But_then he had that look in his eyes that made it difficult to stay mad at him.

_Sincerity._

If there was one thing about being a vampire that Bella learned, it's that night comes very quickly to the immortals.

Bella had asked Alice to drive her back to Chief Swan's house that evening.

"Bella, are you sure about what your'e doing?" Alice said as she arched a brow.

"It's gonna be fine, Alice, trust me." Bella replied.

"Alright, but just don't wake him up."

Alice watched as Bella easily climbed on top of the roof and slipped inside the house.

Even from her room she could hear his snores that were coming out from his bedroom. The house was dark but she moved swiftly out into the hallway, and entered his room undetected. He was sleeping soundly, but his face were lined with the traces of worry. She let out a silent sigh. She knew she had to do this, she just didn't have the strength to find the words to explain to him just yet, and this was the best way she knew how or at least begin to. She gently touched his hand and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. She placed the letter on his night stand, and walked to his window and opened it. She took one last glance before disappearing into the night.

_"Dear Charlie,_

_I'm so sorry, so sorry for what I put you through these last couple of months. I know it's been hard on you lately. But I'm alright now, I promise. . ._

_I just have to go away for a while. Don't tell Mom okay? she'll just get worried. I'll be okay, I promise and I'll call. Don't, just don't worry too much okay? I'll come back, I will. I love you._

_Bella."_

_He wouldn't understand, but in time I'll have to tell him._


	11. Light in the dark

_I haven't seen Edward for a long while since that first day I was turned. I guess he's still mad at me for all that had happened during those days. We really never got the chance to give eachother the closure to heal from all that happened between us, both the good and the bad times. But even though he never knew, I forgave him a long time ago for that day in the woods, when he left. I now know how hard that decision must have been for him, I'll always be thankful to him. He had taught me how to sieze love by the heart and to never let it go, unless the time to say goodbye had arrived. Love will never be easy, but it's worth fighting for. I remember one evening before Edward was going to leave for the second time, I had asked him why on that night when I was on the roof, surely if Alice would have known what I was about to do, he would too. But then he explained that he couldn't bear to stay with the coven after they left Forks. He told me that, just seeing them everyday was a reminder of what he had left behind, and he told me that it was his guilt that drove him away, away from them, away from me._

_He decided he was going to go away for a while. I'll never forget the day, I watched him board that plane, not knowing where he was going. I felt a heavy sadness for him, but somehow in that brief moment when I had said goodbye to him, and he held me for the last time, somehow, in those last moments we had managed to make our peace with eachother. I'll miss him, I'll miss him a lot. But if time could be kind to me, surely it can be kind to him, too._

_Jacob on the other hand. . ._

_He's still the same old Jacob, one thing I'll always be greatful for. He's still ajusting to my new life, somehow he's still upset with the way things changed but, somehow deep down he loves me enough to not stay mad at me. It's only a matter of time before he'll start coming around again. . ._

_The majority of the Cullens returned to Alaska, except for one that stayed behind. . . _

Somewhere in an island near the mediteranean sea.

Bella and Carlisle had been climbing a mountain trail for several hours.

"Can you please at least, give me a hint." She pleaded as she watched him climb ahead of her,

"Nope." He replied as he smiled.

"Please?" Her voice sounding defeated. "Come on, you had me blindfolded the whole way through."

She didn't get a reply. He could hear her mutter _fine_under her breath as he gave a quiet chuckle.

It was still quite dark, nothing but the wild trees surrounding them, she closed her eyes and took in a breath, there was the scent of the sea in the distance.

After what seemed like an eternity of endless walking, climbing, and the munching of soil and dead leaves beneath their shoes, they had reached the top.

She gasped as she looked out into the distance, she swore her mouth had dropped to the floor at the sight.

Twilight had begun to set in, as the sky was painted a wild shade of midnight blue intertwined with vague shades of pink that were spread out into the distance, it was like a painting that had come to life, you could see the horizon in the distance as the ocean and the skiy meet in the center. She walked towards the end of a large cliff and she could see the ocean, a long and daunting drop away. The wind carried the consistency of summer laced with the vague scent of olives that resonated with the wind as it tickled her nose.

"Alright, where are we?" She asked folding her arms, she watched as Carlisle started to spread a picnic cloth near an old tree.

He turned to look at her, a delighted glint in his eyes,

"Fumart."

He started to walk towards her,

"Okay? and where exactly is Fumart." She asked her eyebrows furrowing.

He placed a hand on her waist as he brushed her chin lightly with his right finger.

"Balaeric Island." He replied patiently.

"I-I can't even pronounce that." She stammered,

"Majorca." He said finally with a smile.

"We are, WHERE?"

He laughed at her expression. Excitement flowed inside her as she placed her hands on his chest gently. She looked around the enormous landscape, words couldn't even come close to describe it's rustic beauty. Nothing but miles of water, land and ancient stones that held the scent of the sun.

She started to walk around for a while, relishing the sights and scents. The wind was warm and sweet, the ocean air permeating into her olfactory. Dawn was setting in, she stopped and looked out into the horizon, the sun was beginning to rise, golden lights spreading out into the murky sky. Even though her humanity was over, her new adventure was about to begin.

She walked back to where Carlisle was, and had found him leaning against a rock as he read, gently thumbing through the pages of his book. She saw that he removed his jacket, he had placed it neatly next to her bag. She quietly tiptoed towards it, took of her shoes and took off her jacket, and slipped on his.

She made her way through the rough and uneven stones barefoot and smiled as she took a seat next to him.

"Nice jacket." He nodded at her,

"Thanks." She replied, fixing the sleeves.

"So why did you decide to choose this place?" She asks, looking at him with curiosity.

"I came here, the first time, a few years after I was turned. I sat on this rock and looked out into the distance. During those early years, I was in constant turmoil with myself, at first I could never really quite come to terms with the _change_. And I never forgot the summer when I had first visited this place, there was never such peace I had ever felt before, until that one day in May, I kept coming back here ever since, It's like when I'm here, I feel like I don't have to be so alone. . ." He replied as he looked up into the sky.

There was a quiet dignity about the way he spoke.

He looked into her now golden eyes, his expression seemed pensive.

"Is something wrong?" She asks with searching eyes.

"No, everything's alright." A small smile on his lips.

_Somehow I knew, He had tried to avoid the subject but, I knew what troubled him. His guilt for turning me. He once told me that he wanted me to have a choice, to know what I truly wanted, but that fateful night had changed the course of my life completely. But not once did I regret what had happened, if things didn't go the way they did, I wouldn't have the happiness I have with him now. I know the burden it brings him as I watch distress quietly make it's way into his gentle features._

"It's okay." She whispered to him, as she curled onto his chest, fumbling with the collar of his shirt. He let out a silent sigh, as he kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes as he smiled.

She could hear him as he whispered the words clearly in her ear. "I love you."

He held her closer as he began to read to her once more.

_Her innocence like the breath of fresh rain, The fire within her which burns with great warmth.  
The very heart of her, I love so dearly._

He reads to her for a while longer, as she listens to him, his voice never more sweeter.

Bella stops him on an impulse.

She playfully grabs his book and throws it to the side. He smiles as she teasingly grabs him by the collar of his shirt, their faces, ever so close to eachother. A gentle smile lights up her face as she wraps her arms around his neck, he places his hand on her waist as their lips meet in a loving kiss, their breath deliciously mingling as she felt the taste of him on her mouth. His soft lips gentle yet tender, the consistency of honey as his skin brushed against hers in an intoxicating rhythm. Her lips hungry for his as he kissed hers time and again.

_Theyr'e probably won't be anyone like him. There probably isn't. And that I'm thankful for.  
It didn't matter the kind of forever we are given. Forever in a century, month, day, second.  
As long as he's always there._

_My heart never felt more alive than when he looked at me._

_His eyes like the golden sun. . ._

Her lips found their way into his ear as she whispered "I love you too."

_"Take my hand, ._  
_I promise I won't let you fall._  
_Would you let me lead,_  
_give it a try, it'll be alright._

_Everything is silent,_  
_and our time has come,_  
_Take it in, feel it all and hold it._  
_Eyes on you, eyes on me._  
_This is right._

_This is love._  
_The spotlight is shinning, and this time, it's all about us._  
_This is a feeling I've never felt but,_  
_this time it's all about us._

_Suddenly, we're feeling brave._  
_Don't know what's gotten into me,_  
_why I feel this way, but._  
_Can I hold you, real close, _  
_Just close your eyes._

_Our moment has come,_  
_Take it in and never let this go. _

_We watched as the seasons pull up all on it's own._  
_We catch the last weekend of the last month,_  
_before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,_  
_Another autumn season fades away._

_Invitation only grant farewells,_  
_it's too early to say goodnight,_  
_but rest assured as you lie here next to me,_  
_sleep well, till morning greets us again._

_Your eyes on me, my eyes on you._  
_We both look how we feel._

_You have stolen, my heart."_


End file.
